Sunday, January 16, 2005

GOLDEN GLOBE REACTIONS

Yes, you wanted it. You got it. Get ready for lots of hyperbole, flamboyant gayness, and severe whoring.

Let's get the bad out of the way:

ANNETTE BENING. She reminded of the Nicole Kidman episode of SNL where Nic did a sketch with Mike Myers and goes "I'm a robot. I talk like a robot. I'm a robot." That was, by far, the worst acceptance speech I have ever seen. There was no surprise in her voice. Her speech, which was an actual SPEECH, was memorized to a tee and give her the most snide and arrogant demeanor I have ever seen. Like, 'Hi, I'm better than all of you. Bow before me.' I have a feeling she's a major bitch. I officially can not wait to watch Hilary Swank beat her at the Oscars AGAIN! Take it. During Bening's speech, I was hoping Kate Winslet would pull out a gun and shoot that fucking cunt in the head. They didn't show Kate's reaction to Bening's win. She was probably crying. Such a lovely girl. (Kate, however, gave Leo a one-woman standing ovation. Kate's my bitch. I love that girl.)

2nd Biggest Losers of the Night: Fox and ABC. You fucking bastards. You ran NEW(!!!!!) episodes of your nominees and winners Arrested Development and Desperate Housewives opposite them winning. How fucking pathetic.

MEMO TO LISA MARIE PRESSLEY: Capes are not in. You scare me.
MEMO TO USHER: When inside, you do not have to wear sunglasses.
MEMO TO VIRGINIA MADSEN: Buy a bra. Seriously.
MEMO TO KATE WINSLET: Your fab and I'm sorry you lost. You just seemed really out of it especially when you were playing with your nails during Robin's speech. (Though, when Charlize walked on stage, Kate mouthed something like "she's beautiful.")
MEMO TO RENEE ZELLWEGER: Where did you go? You presented, then left.
MEMO TO CLIVE OWEN AND EWAN MCGREGOR: You guys own it. But where's your buddy, Jude? And NO! those Alfie clips weren't enough. DAMN IT!

That is about it for the bad. Annette Bening is now on my shit list. I'll be seeing Being Julia in one week, regardless.


My favorite person/moment/dress of the night....(all in one)..


TERI HATCHER! Oh my god. She is heavenly. Her acceptance speech, full of surprise, emotion, and down to earthness, was the best of the night. Learn it. Love it. I love how both times Teri went to the stage, Zach Braff tried to hug her. He is so funny.

Coming in a close 2nd place for best dressed is Charlize Theron. Let's face it: she could have a mohawk and be wearing a lamp shade and make it work. The girl has it. The dress was amazing and her hair looks good, too. 2 years in a row for her.

Other dresses I loved but will wait till I can see more of to decide how to rate everything:

-my Desperate Housewives (while Eva's dress was a little floofy at the bottom, her earrings, hair and makeup are perfection)
-Emmy Rossum & Minnie Driver
-Sandra Oh
-Regina King
-Kate Hudson
-Halle Berry
-Diane Lane
-Claire Danes (holy BOMBSHELL!)
-Hilary Swank (didn't like the hair at first but it worked)
-Uma Thurman (though I didn't see the whole dress, but she looked amazing top up)
-Naomi Watts (she presented Eternal Sunshine, so gotta give her props)
-Mischa Barton
-Meryl Streep (needed different hair though)
-Portia De Rossi
-Mariska Hargitay

Speaking of red carpet stuff, Kathy Griffin was hosting something and, instead of asking people what they thought about the Brad/Jen breakup, asked someone what they thought of Dakota Fanning entering rehab. OMG. I'm losing it. E! just apologized on their postshow for her comment. They started talking about how wonderful she is and how she is some exciting projects coming out. What? Did her mom call them? This is too great.

2nd BEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT: Meryl saying "Congratulations, Natalie." Meryl needs to be at every award show. She is the most hilarious person EVER!

3rd: Jamie Foxx. Even if it did involve every great acceptance cliche and there was some slight pandering, he is so charismatic. One thing that needs to stop: when a black person wins, why must they cut to every black person there. I wish he could've finished what he was trying to say. Oh well.

(I did not know Helen Mirren was married to Taylor Hackford. I had no idea Virginia Madsen was Michael's sister.)

(OMG! Eva Longoria is so drunk on E! right now talking about getting up at 5AM to be on the set. She's sitting in Marc Cherry's lap.)

There seems to be a consensus that the TV people stole the night from the movie people. Maybe...

4th: Robin Williams. Did you think he wouldn't be funny?

5th: Natalie & Clive's surprise wins. Though for me they are second best in their categories - behind Cate and David - they seemed very gracious. Natalie's dress was pretty bad.

Morgan Freeman is the coolest man alive. He is one of my favorite actors.

I can't think of much else. Just picture this, though: Hilary Swank walks up onstage to accept her 2nd Oscar on Feb. 27. Camera cuts to Kate Winslet and Julianne Moore's heads exploding.

WINNERS:

Best Picture (Drama) - The Aviator
Best Picture (Comedy/Musical) - Sideways
Best Director - Clint Eastwood - Million Dollar Baby
Best Actor (Drama) - Leonardo DiCaprio - The Aviator
Best Actor (Comedy/Musical) - Jamie Foxx - Ray
Best Actress (Drama) - Hilary Swank - Million Dollar Baby
Best Actress (Comedy/Musical) - Annette Bening - Being Julia
Best Supporting Actor - Clive Owen - Closer
Best Supporting Actress - Natalie Portman - Closer
Best Screenplay - Sideways
Best Score - The Aviator
Best Song - Old Habits Die Hard - Alfie
Best Foreign Langauge Film - The Sea Inside

POST YOUR GG THOUGHTS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION!

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