My Most Anticipated Films of 2006: The Third Tier

These are the films I am looking forward to but aren't exactly overtly hyped to see.

First Quarter:

The always enjoyable Queen Latifah goes on a LAST HOLIDAY after finding out she's dying. Let me guess: she isn't actually dying and the whole thing was just some comedic mistake? Oh well. I'll be there for the trip. Sanaa Lathan finds SOMETHING NEW - not too mention something unbelievably sexy - in the form of Aussie Simon Baker. Clive Owen plans the ultimate bank robbery that Denzel Washingon tries to prevent in INSIDE MAN. Spike Lee directs the slick thriller, and Jodie Foster costars. Quite a team, huh? Following up In Her Shoes, Curtis Hanson directs Eric Bana, Drew Barrymore, Robert Duvall and Debra Messing in LUCKY YOU, a dramedy set in the ever popular Vegas poker world. Veronica Mars' cutie Kristen Bell takes a beat at the big screen in the creepy looking PULSE. Yes, it's a remake of a Japanese film. What isn't a remake of a Japanese horror film: SLITHER. Serenity's Nathan Fillion and The 40 Year Old Virgin's Elizabeth Banks play the hot, sexy, just-take-your-clothes-off-now leads in this homage to B-movies. Bryce Dallas Howard does something truly scary: steps in to Nicole Kidman's shoes for the second installment of Lars Von Triers American trilogy: MANDERLAY. Much of the cast of Dogville returns, this time playing different characters in the film which examines slavery. I’m sure much larger themes reside in the subtext? Either way, no one will see the film. I will, though. :-) The Kat in TomKat joins a rather large ensemble cast to THANK YOU FOR SMOKING which earned some raves from the festivals it played.

Second Quarter:

After being shelved, ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL will finally get an exhibit. Similarly, we might get the answer when Colin Farrell and Salma Hayek ASK THE DUST - Robert Towne's latest. Diane Lane, Chris Evans and Donald Sutherland are FIERCE PEOPLE in another delayed film though this one has some Toronto acclaim on its side. In the vein of Bend It Like Beckham comes GUYS AND BALLS, a gay crowdpleaser. Another gay crowdpleaser: THE NOTORIOUS BETTIE PAGE starring that one time It girl Gretchen Mol who is getting some Oscar buzz. Jennifer Garner, yes her, loses her fiance but gains a ton of friends - literally: Kevin Smith; Juliette Lewis, too - in CATCH AND RELEASE the directorial debut of Susanna Grant (screenwriter of Erin Brockovich and In Her Shoes.) Summer kicks off with MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3, POSEIDON and X-MEN 3, all of which will probably suck, but they got some good people involved. Going up against them is the small film IN THE LAND OF WOMEN starring The OC's charming Adam Brody and Meg Ryan (of all people!) Lindsay Lohan has a losing streak in JUST MY LUCK. That might change if she stopped hanging out with Hilton Sister or Cast Member of That 70's Show That Isn't Topher Grace. SUPERMAN RETURNS in June, in case you didn't hear. They did it all for you Damien! in THE OMEN 666 - released on June 6, 2006 (060606) and starring Liev Schrieber, Julia Stiles and Mia Farrow. Intrigued? 12 years after they drove a bus, Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock fall in love in THE LAKE HOUSE, which I'm presuming does not go about 50mph.

Third Quarter:

M. Night Shyamalan hopefully won't pull any twists with LADY IN THE WATER. Paul Giamatti and Bryce Dallas Howard star in the "bedtime story." Ivan Reitman's MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND should be a fun comedy that follows a man who finds out his ex-girlfriend is as actually a superhero. Luke Wilson, Uma Thurman and the invaluable Anna Faris star. Kicking off fall and the awards season is Christopher Guest's latest mockumentary: FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION. It pokes fun at the world of Oscar campaigning and all that fun stuff I live for. Can't wait! Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez join forces for a bloody horror movie given the title GRINDHOUSE. Will Ferell, Queen Latitifah, Dustin Hoffman, Emma Thompson and Maggie Gyllenaal find something STRANGER THAN FICTION when Ferell's character's life is disrupted by an unseen narrator. The diverse and nimble Marc Foster directs.

Fourth Quarter & TBA:
ALL THE KING'S MEN finally hits after a year long delay. It stars a bunch of untalented no-names: Sean Penn, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Mark Ruffalo, among others. Javier Bardem and Natalie Portman star in Milos Forman's GOYA'S GHOST. Cate Blanchett gives Judi Dench NOTES ON A SCANDAL, which follows a rather Lifetime-ish storyline of a small town teacher and her affair with a student. Brad Pitt stars in THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD. I have no idea what that movie is about. Brian De Palma goes 40's noir with Scarlett Johansson, Hilary Swank and Josh Hartnett in THE BLACK DAHLIA. Martin Scorsese directs Leonardo DiCaprio once again in THE DEPARTED. Matt Damon and Jack Nicholson costar. Darren Aronofsky's THE FOUNTAIN chronicles the affair between Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz over many centuries. Zach Braff gives Jacinda Barrett THE LAST KISS. Hilary Swank is the latest Oscar winning actress to ruin her career by starring in a crappy horror picture from Dark Castle: THE REAPING. Anna Sofia Robb (Violet from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) costars. Dakota Fanning must have been busy. Bond is back. And he's blonde? Daniel Craig steps into the shoes of 007, with most likely Naomi Watts as his Bond girl for CASINO ROYALE. Watts costars with Edward Norton, meanwhile, in THE PAINTED VEIL, which sounds like a Merchant Ivory film, but isn't. Clint Eastwood directs a World War II film called FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS starring Paul Walker and Jesse Bradford and just about every other hot young actor alive. Maybe it'll win some Oscars? Hugh Jackman, Nicole Kidman, Robin Williams and Elijah Wood lend their auditory talent for the penguin adventure HAPPY FEET. DeNiro directs Matt Damon and Angelina Jolie in THE GOOD SHEPERD, which I doubt has anything to do with sheep. Damn it. Here's something else that is good: THE GOOD GERMAN, starring George Clooney, Cate Blanchett and Tobey Maguire. It's from Soderbergh, who also has that long in-development CHE biopic in the works. Speaking of communists, Dakota Fanning talks to a spider and a pig in CHARLOTTE'S WEB, which will bomb horribly when it's released over Christmas. On second though, probably not. Jake Gyllenhaal, Mark Ruffalo and...who really cares..Gyllenhaal and Ruffalo is enough! The sexy duo costar along with some less attractive people in ZODIAC from David Fincher. And Ruffalo (again!) joins Matt Damon (again!) and Anna Paquin (...) in MARGARET, from You Can Count on Me filmmaker Kenneth Lonergan. Finally, Woody Allen directs another currently untitled movie starring Scarlett Johansson. This one is more the traditional Allen fare, as opposed to Match Point. He's got Scarlett fever.

And at some point during the year, some movie about pirates is being released. Maybe you’ll hear about it. Maybe not.

And look for the Brokeback Mountain sequel starring Natalie Portman and Rachel McAdams: Beaver Creek. Ryan Gosling and Chris Evans costar as the knowing husbands.

Just kidding...

(I know. I should kill myself for that.)