Horror Movie OctoberFest: Round 3
The Hole - 4/10
Yes, boys and ghouls, you get to see a 16 year old Keira Knightley's tits. They are bigger than I expected, but you've probably already checked them out online. That will save you the money of renting this film which loses all potential in its sloppy execution. Four kids go into an underground former bomb shelter and only one comes out days later. That would be Thora Birch in a pretty shitty British accent. The film's biggest problem is that its first 25 minutes are probably the best, but when you consider the direction the story takes, they should have been deleted. I don't like the way the story was told even if some of it has a bit of creepiness to it. It would have been smarter to go with just them going into the hole instead of all the flashbacks. Knightley actually gives her best performance to date her, but unless you really want a movie to go with your KK tits, skip it.
House - 4/10
I found most of this to be dumb. I just didn't get into it. The Vietnam stuff felt out of place. The comedic moments just weren't funny, with the exception of George Wendt. The story at the end didn't make much sense. This is a semi-classic and I was expecting something better. It almost felt like a kids movie with an R-rating thanks to those evil, puppet fat things. William Katt is pretty good, though, and there are some neat visuals. That's it. He also shows his tits, but again, no movie around it.
Sleepaway Camp - 2/10
Ugh. From what I gather people like this movie. I'm guessing in a "so bad, its good" way. Someone took the most uninteresting scenes from Random Teen Sex Romp and Random Teen Slasher Movie and put them together (randomly!) into this awful "movie." The identity of the killer is so painfully obvious that you just know its going to be the exact person you think it will be instead of being someone else. Did that make sense? Whatever. I'm sure that ending may have seemed surprising a decade before The Crying Game. Did I spoil the ending? Oops. Well, now you won't have to waste your time watching this unless its some sort of sick initiation thing or drinking game. No Keira Knightley tits here to redeem anything.
Tales From the Darkside: The Movie - 7/10
A pretty cool collection of three short, gory films that features people like Christian Slater, Deborah Harry, Julianne Moore and Steve Buscemi. The first tale follows a mummy being set loose in the modern day. For being almost 15 years old, the movie's effects for the mummy are solid. The second one is about a black cat that curses anyone it comes in contact with. This leads to a grisly scene of the cat crawling inside someone's mouth and back out later. Yummy. The final tale is about a monster in New York that makes a man promise to never tell anyone about him or the monster will kill him. That one was the most interesting with a tragic ending. The mummy one however is the best. It was cowritten by George Romero and features the most names of the cast. All three stories are linked together by a young boy telling them to a witch (Harry, who is really bad) in order to buy time before she cooks him. Its pretty fun, equal parts trick and treat. Very bloody, too.
Wendigo - 7/10
One of the more original films I've watched during OctoberFest, Wendigo is a 2001 indie film featuring Dawn of the Dead's Jake Webber, a never sexier Patricia Clarkson and Malcolm In the Middle's endearing Erik Per Sullivan as a family vacationing in the Catskillz and the local hick wreaking havoc on them. Actually, its not even about that. It covers a variety of topics including family, curses and culture clashes spinning its own original tale, not at all a conventional horror film. The direction at time gets way too hyper (think Mothman Prophecies, only way more over the top) which dampens a lot of the film, yet the story is well told thanks to the screenplay. The actors playing the family are all very good and are well developed enough that the audience is scared because of their fear.
Yes, boys and ghouls, you get to see a 16 year old Keira Knightley's tits. They are bigger than I expected, but you've probably already checked them out online. That will save you the money of renting this film which loses all potential in its sloppy execution. Four kids go into an underground former bomb shelter and only one comes out days later. That would be Thora Birch in a pretty shitty British accent. The film's biggest problem is that its first 25 minutes are probably the best, but when you consider the direction the story takes, they should have been deleted. I don't like the way the story was told even if some of it has a bit of creepiness to it. It would have been smarter to go with just them going into the hole instead of all the flashbacks. Knightley actually gives her best performance to date her, but unless you really want a movie to go with your KK tits, skip it.
House - 4/10
I found most of this to be dumb. I just didn't get into it. The Vietnam stuff felt out of place. The comedic moments just weren't funny, with the exception of George Wendt. The story at the end didn't make much sense. This is a semi-classic and I was expecting something better. It almost felt like a kids movie with an R-rating thanks to those evil, puppet fat things. William Katt is pretty good, though, and there are some neat visuals. That's it. He also shows his tits, but again, no movie around it.
Sleepaway Camp - 2/10
Ugh. From what I gather people like this movie. I'm guessing in a "so bad, its good" way. Someone took the most uninteresting scenes from Random Teen Sex Romp and Random Teen Slasher Movie and put them together (randomly!) into this awful "movie." The identity of the killer is so painfully obvious that you just know its going to be the exact person you think it will be instead of being someone else. Did that make sense? Whatever. I'm sure that ending may have seemed surprising a decade before The Crying Game. Did I spoil the ending? Oops. Well, now you won't have to waste your time watching this unless its some sort of sick initiation thing or drinking game. No Keira Knightley tits here to redeem anything.
Tales From the Darkside: The Movie - 7/10
A pretty cool collection of three short, gory films that features people like Christian Slater, Deborah Harry, Julianne Moore and Steve Buscemi. The first tale follows a mummy being set loose in the modern day. For being almost 15 years old, the movie's effects for the mummy are solid. The second one is about a black cat that curses anyone it comes in contact with. This leads to a grisly scene of the cat crawling inside someone's mouth and back out later. Yummy. The final tale is about a monster in New York that makes a man promise to never tell anyone about him or the monster will kill him. That one was the most interesting with a tragic ending. The mummy one however is the best. It was cowritten by George Romero and features the most names of the cast. All three stories are linked together by a young boy telling them to a witch (Harry, who is really bad) in order to buy time before she cooks him. Its pretty fun, equal parts trick and treat. Very bloody, too.
Wendigo - 7/10
One of the more original films I've watched during OctoberFest, Wendigo is a 2001 indie film featuring Dawn of the Dead's Jake Webber, a never sexier Patricia Clarkson and Malcolm In the Middle's endearing Erik Per Sullivan as a family vacationing in the Catskillz and the local hick wreaking havoc on them. Actually, its not even about that. It covers a variety of topics including family, curses and culture clashes spinning its own original tale, not at all a conventional horror film. The direction at time gets way too hyper (think Mothman Prophecies, only way more over the top) which dampens a lot of the film, yet the story is well told thanks to the screenplay. The actors playing the family are all very good and are well developed enough that the audience is scared because of their fear.
posted by Darren at 2:05 PM
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