Massive Globes Post - Winners, Thoughts, Fashion
WINNERS:
Best Film - Drama: Brokeback Mountain
Best Film - Musical/Comedy: Walk the Line
Best Director: Ang Lee - Brokeback Mountain
Best Screenplay: Larry McMurtry & Diana Ossana - Brokeback Mountain
Best Score: John Williams - Memoirs of a Geisha
Best Song: "A Love That Will Never Grow Old" - Brokeback Mountain
Best Actor - Drama: Philip Seymour Hoffman - Capote
Best Actress - Drama: Felicity Huffman - Transamerica
Best Actor - Musical/Comedy: Joaquin Phoenix - Walk the Line
Best Actress - Musical/Comedy: Reese Witherspoon - Walk the Line
Best Supporting Actor: George Clooney - Syriana
Best Supporting Actress: Rachel Weisz - The Constant Gardener
Commentary:
E!'s Red Carpet Coverage:
In major need of a face lift. Gulianna appeared drunk and I normally like her a lot. Ryan Seacrest and Debbie Metta-shouldnotbefamousanymore didn't do anything. They just sat there. And then there was the big disaster: Isaac Mizrahi. Fire him. Stat. At least Star Jones was professional. This guy just promoted his talk show and seemed to forget about a little thing called etiquette. (The constant 'what kind of underwear are you wearing?' and poking of the cleavage was really unseemly.) Then there was his pervasive questioning of things the publicists clearly didn't want him to ask such as Swank's divorce and Mandy Moore & Zach Braff being an item. Does he not realize publicists won't let him talk to their clients if he keeps that shit up? Get rid of him, E!. And Ryan and Debbie while you're at it. Aside from that, what's with the lack of pans of the dresses? It was lots of close ups and top shots. Need some serious revamping.
Seriously.
The SHOW:
The TV stars stole it from the movie stars again. Clooney was funny and charming, Weisz was classy. But then Sandra Oh came on and seemed genuinely thrilled with, well, everything. Fantastic and funny speech. Next, Geena Davis, looking the best she has in ages, delivers that tongue-in-cheek speech which was sardonic brilliance.
"Well, that didn't actually happen. Awww. But it could have."
Then, two more funny guys: Hugh Laurie and Steve Carell.
I don't remember what happened for a while. I do like the way Globes didn't cut speeches at all and yet managed to not go overtime. How do they do that?
Seriously.
The rest will be pretty random:
-Well, I guess Reese will win the Oscar. Shirley MacLaine was sitting at her table. And if you want someone at your table, it's Shirley.
-There was some serious working of the room. Heath talking to Melanie Griffith? Wow. But that's the point of the Globes.
-My God! The Housewives were so drunk. Teri especially. Later on E!, she looked like she was going to fall over. Her eyes were so glazed over. Haha. I love it. "Fuck this shit, I won last year. I'm drowning my head in liquor." Love Teri.
-Melanie Griffith's daughter needs to learn how to stand and not look like she just got out of rehab.
-Queen Latifah could easliy host an award show.
-Pamela Anderson - minus the hair, tattoos and lips - looks classy.
-Joaquin and Jonathan Rhys Meyer look like they should be in rehab. Or in need of a tan.
-Anthony Hopkins - well, apparently it's Antony Hopkins - got the only standing ovation of the night. Seymour Hoffman almost got one but they realized he wasn't dressed that well and sat back down.
-Felicity Huffman's "It gets better. Not really." See, that's the kind of speech that can get you an Oscar. Not "My drunk husband almost pushed me over so I could get up here and my dress looks like a nightie from the set of Troy."
-Maybe Shirley MacLaine was with Reese and Ryan to prevent Ryan from drinking so much. Didn't work, Shirley.
-I like Jason Lee's stache.
-Terrence Howard oozes class.
-Jamie Foxx apparently is still campaigning for Ray.
-SJP is adorable. I love her.
-As far as presenters, would it kill them to learn how to say the nominees names correctly? Laura Lindley? Pierce Bronson?
-Ang Lee calling Clint Eastwood 'The Man' only made Clint look like an ass even more for looking the slightest bit pissed when Brokeback won. Director goes to a person Clint, not a film. You have to say Ang's name first.
-Chris Rock let loose more in his category tonight then he did during all of the Oscars. That wasn't necessarily a good thing, but his Weeds being watched by Snoop Dogg joke was hilarious. Eva Longoria - Chico & the man. LOL! Louise Parker didn't seem too thrilled with his antics.
-Anne Hathaway should have taken a note to how Mary Louise Parker was dressed and her makeup.
-Emma Thompson is so witty. Garsh. I loved her Ang Lee reference and then later when she was hanging between Ang and Anne.
-The director of Pride and Prejudice has the same cheek bones as Keira.
-Eric Bana & Kate Beckinsale on stage - don't present. Just fuck.
-S. Epatha Merskerson should win an award at every show.
-Someone could get lost in Scarlett Johansson's cleavage. SHIT.
-Virginia Madsen has her boobs under control, though. WOW. She just need to figure out what to do with those curls. I love the little pose she did when Harrison gave her his drink.
-Why does Penelope Cruz present Mrs. Henderson Presents?
-Open the fucking envelope Rosario Dawson.
-Ang Lee was so heartfelt and humble.
-Heath and Michelle were so cute acting. She just needs a smaller dress. Okay, very smaller. Like, that dress, but in a cocktail design.
-Why didn't Annette Bening present this year? Maybe she outdid herself in that bitchy speech last year and was still recovering. Ugh, that speech was awful.
-Dennis Quaid's "rhymes with chick flick" joke was the biggest flop of the night.
-I loved how Heath laughed at it then Michelle half scolded him for doing so.
-Leonardo Dicaprio is sex on a stick. But what was with him reading the names in his category in random order?
-Charlize Theron was high.
-Gwyneth Paltrow looked too busy trying to think of stupid names for her next child to look interested in anything that was going on.
-Felicity Huffman praised transsexuals. You go, girl-boy!
-Speaking of transsexuals, Hilary Skank looks pretty good.
WORST DRESSED:
-Gwyneth Paltrow - the sweedish milk maid with a little yellow (baby pee?)
-Ellen Pompeo - fake Renee looks like a frizzled hippie
-Anne Hathaway - the brokeback gals need some serious work, but with that whore makeup and hair, this one needs more
TOP 10 FASHION:
#10 - EVA LONGORIA - lady in red, lovely
#9 - EVANGELINE LILY - lady in green, lovely
#8 - LAURA LINNEY - mature lady in red, best she's looked in ages, not trying to go for the young look like she tries to do too much
#7 - NATALIE PORTMAN - the little french boy from the 1960's
#6 - JESSICA ALBA - bootiful, and her boyfriend is hot and named CASH!
#5 - GEENA DAVIS - elegant and regal
#4 - SARAH JESSICA PARKER - love the hair, she is luminous
#3 - RENEE ZELLWEGER - va va voom, not bridget, not roxy, finally the perfect look, very kidman-esque dress
#2 - KEIRA KNIGHTLEY - perfect for a hot young ingunue
#1 - SANDRA OH - does this woman ever go wrong or ever look anything other than perfection?
Best Film - Drama: Brokeback Mountain
Best Film - Musical/Comedy: Walk the Line
Best Director: Ang Lee - Brokeback Mountain
Best Screenplay: Larry McMurtry & Diana Ossana - Brokeback Mountain
Best Score: John Williams - Memoirs of a Geisha
Best Song: "A Love That Will Never Grow Old" - Brokeback Mountain
Best Actor - Drama: Philip Seymour Hoffman - Capote
Best Actress - Drama: Felicity Huffman - Transamerica
Best Actor - Musical/Comedy: Joaquin Phoenix - Walk the Line
Best Actress - Musical/Comedy: Reese Witherspoon - Walk the Line
Best Supporting Actor: George Clooney - Syriana
Best Supporting Actress: Rachel Weisz - The Constant Gardener
Commentary:
E!'s Red Carpet Coverage:
In major need of a face lift. Gulianna appeared drunk and I normally like her a lot. Ryan Seacrest and Debbie Metta-shouldnotbefamousanymore didn't do anything. They just sat there. And then there was the big disaster: Isaac Mizrahi. Fire him. Stat. At least Star Jones was professional. This guy just promoted his talk show and seemed to forget about a little thing called etiquette. (The constant 'what kind of underwear are you wearing?' and poking of the cleavage was really unseemly.) Then there was his pervasive questioning of things the publicists clearly didn't want him to ask such as Swank's divorce and Mandy Moore & Zach Braff being an item. Does he not realize publicists won't let him talk to their clients if he keeps that shit up? Get rid of him, E!. And Ryan and Debbie while you're at it. Aside from that, what's with the lack of pans of the dresses? It was lots of close ups and top shots. Need some serious revamping.
Seriously.
The SHOW:
The TV stars stole it from the movie stars again. Clooney was funny and charming, Weisz was classy. But then Sandra Oh came on and seemed genuinely thrilled with, well, everything. Fantastic and funny speech. Next, Geena Davis, looking the best she has in ages, delivers that tongue-in-cheek speech which was sardonic brilliance.
"Well, that didn't actually happen. Awww. But it could have."
Then, two more funny guys: Hugh Laurie and Steve Carell.
I don't remember what happened for a while. I do like the way Globes didn't cut speeches at all and yet managed to not go overtime. How do they do that?
Seriously.
The rest will be pretty random:
-Well, I guess Reese will win the Oscar. Shirley MacLaine was sitting at her table. And if you want someone at your table, it's Shirley.
-There was some serious working of the room. Heath talking to Melanie Griffith? Wow. But that's the point of the Globes.
-My God! The Housewives were so drunk. Teri especially. Later on E!, she looked like she was going to fall over. Her eyes were so glazed over. Haha. I love it. "Fuck this shit, I won last year. I'm drowning my head in liquor." Love Teri.
-Melanie Griffith's daughter needs to learn how to stand and not look like she just got out of rehab.
-Queen Latifah could easliy host an award show.
-Pamela Anderson - minus the hair, tattoos and lips - looks classy.
-Joaquin and Jonathan Rhys Meyer look like they should be in rehab. Or in need of a tan.
-Anthony Hopkins - well, apparently it's Antony Hopkins - got the only standing ovation of the night. Seymour Hoffman almost got one but they realized he wasn't dressed that well and sat back down.
-Felicity Huffman's "It gets better. Not really." See, that's the kind of speech that can get you an Oscar. Not "My drunk husband almost pushed me over so I could get up here and my dress looks like a nightie from the set of Troy."
-Maybe Shirley MacLaine was with Reese and Ryan to prevent Ryan from drinking so much. Didn't work, Shirley.
-I like Jason Lee's stache.
-Terrence Howard oozes class.
-Jamie Foxx apparently is still campaigning for Ray.
-SJP is adorable. I love her.
-As far as presenters, would it kill them to learn how to say the nominees names correctly? Laura Lindley? Pierce Bronson?
-Ang Lee calling Clint Eastwood 'The Man' only made Clint look like an ass even more for looking the slightest bit pissed when Brokeback won. Director goes to a person Clint, not a film. You have to say Ang's name first.
-Chris Rock let loose more in his category tonight then he did during all of the Oscars. That wasn't necessarily a good thing, but his Weeds being watched by Snoop Dogg joke was hilarious. Eva Longoria - Chico & the man. LOL! Louise Parker didn't seem too thrilled with his antics.
-Anne Hathaway should have taken a note to how Mary Louise Parker was dressed and her makeup.
-Emma Thompson is so witty. Garsh. I loved her Ang Lee reference and then later when she was hanging between Ang and Anne.
-The director of Pride and Prejudice has the same cheek bones as Keira.
-Eric Bana & Kate Beckinsale on stage - don't present. Just fuck.
-S. Epatha Merskerson should win an award at every show.
-Someone could get lost in Scarlett Johansson's cleavage. SHIT.
-Virginia Madsen has her boobs under control, though. WOW. She just need to figure out what to do with those curls. I love the little pose she did when Harrison gave her his drink.
-Why does Penelope Cruz present Mrs. Henderson Presents?
-Open the fucking envelope Rosario Dawson.
-Ang Lee was so heartfelt and humble.
-Heath and Michelle were so cute acting. She just needs a smaller dress. Okay, very smaller. Like, that dress, but in a cocktail design.
-Why didn't Annette Bening present this year? Maybe she outdid herself in that bitchy speech last year and was still recovering. Ugh, that speech was awful.
-Dennis Quaid's "rhymes with chick flick" joke was the biggest flop of the night.
-I loved how Heath laughed at it then Michelle half scolded him for doing so.
-Leonardo Dicaprio is sex on a stick. But what was with him reading the names in his category in random order?
-Charlize Theron was high.
-Gwyneth Paltrow looked too busy trying to think of stupid names for her next child to look interested in anything that was going on.
-Felicity Huffman praised transsexuals. You go, girl-boy!
-Speaking of transsexuals, Hilary Skank looks pretty good.
WORST DRESSED:
-Gwyneth Paltrow - the sweedish milk maid with a little yellow (baby pee?)
-Ellen Pompeo - fake Renee looks like a frizzled hippie
-Anne Hathaway - the brokeback gals need some serious work, but with that whore makeup and hair, this one needs more
TOP 10 FASHION:
#10 - EVA LONGORIA - lady in red, lovely
#9 - EVANGELINE LILY - lady in green, lovely
#8 - LAURA LINNEY - mature lady in red, best she's looked in ages, not trying to go for the young look like she tries to do too much
#7 - NATALIE PORTMAN - the little french boy from the 1960's
#6 - JESSICA ALBA - bootiful, and her boyfriend is hot and named CASH!
#5 - GEENA DAVIS - elegant and regal
#4 - SARAH JESSICA PARKER - love the hair, she is luminous
#3 - RENEE ZELLWEGER - va va voom, not bridget, not roxy, finally the perfect look, very kidman-esque dress
#2 - KEIRA KNIGHTLEY - perfect for a hot young ingunue
#1 - SANDRA OH - does this woman ever go wrong or ever look anything other than perfection?
posted by Darren at 11:19 AM
2 Comments:
Darren, I know we've never met, but I think I love you.
you're an asshole, natalie portman doesn't look like a french BOY she looks effing gorgeous. and evangeline lily should have been higher on the list. i liked all the random comments. esp. about stupid "scarjo". p.s. i sent this blog to entertainment weekly and they're calling you asap about an interview for a potential JOB. in seattle. you would have to live at a hotel though.. not quite as cool as dover and a movie theater.
thank you. i live for your notes about award shows. can't wait for the oscars. -emily
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