Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Box Office Predix: May 26 - 28

1. X-Men 3 - $82m / $82m / $195m
2. The Da Vinci Code - $37m / $149m / $210m
3. Over the Hedge - $28m / $79m / $150m
4. Mission Impossible 3 - $7m / $115m / $130m
5. Poseidon - $4.5m / $44.5m / $52m
6. RV - $4m / $56m / $65m
7. See No Evil - $2m / $8m / $11m
8. Just My Luck - $2m / $14m / $17m
9. United 93 - $1m / $30m / $32m
10. An American Haunting - $.8m / $15m / $17m

i still would rather see xxx-men with hugh and james

The next Ang Lee joint....

OH, hahahaha. I crack myself up.

This has something in common with all his other films: it has nothing in common with all of his other films.

Yes, somebody needs to give me a mic.

From Focus Features:

Ang Lee has pacted to make his second consecutive film, following his Academy Award win for directing Brokeback Mountain, with Focus Features. Lee will next direct Lust, Caution, an espionage thriller set in WWII-era Shanghai. Bill Kong, who previously produced Lee's hit Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, will produce the new film with the director. Focus Features CEO James Schamus, who will executive-produce Lust, Caution, made the announcement today.

The Chinese-language feature is being scripted by Wang Hui-Ling, who previously co-wrote Lee's Eat Drink Man Woman and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Lust, Caution is being adapted from a short story by the late Chinese author Eileen Chang. Focus will hold worldwide rights to the film, excluding Asia. Overseas sales and distribution will be handled by Focus Features International. Production is anticipated to begin in the fall.

As writer and producer, Schamus has collaborated with Lee on nine feature films. Brokeback Mountain, on which Schamus served as a producer, won, among other honors, 3 Academy Awards, 4 Golden Globe Awards, and 4 BAFTA Awards. The film is Focus' all-time top-grosser, with global ticket sales of over $178 million.

Kong has produced several films that Focus and/or Focus Features International have released, including Jet Li's Fearless, starring Jet Li and directed by Ronny Yu (which Focus' sibling company Rogue Pictures releases domestically nationwide on August 4th); and Zhang Yimou's Hero and House of Flying Daggers.

Schamus said, "I'm delighted that Ang is back with all of us here at Focus, and he's going to be making a very exciting film that's unlike anything he's done before. He and I glad to reteam with Bill and Wang again after our great success together on Crouching Tiger. Like that picture, Lust, Caution is a uniquely Asian story which, in Ang's hands, will surprise and attract audiences around the world."

Monday, May 22, 2006

TV Thoughts....

Alias is over.

Will and Grace is over.

Arrested Development is over.

Desperate Housewives is over.

Oh wait. Scratch that last one.

Yeah, I'm not trendy so therefore I still enjoy the Housewives. Particularly Eva Longoria. I love my Eva Longoria. Wasn't she a hoot in her little tennis outfit with pigtails in the finale? OMG. I would die.

Season Grades:

Alias - A-

Fifth and final season marked Sydney looking into a new enemy organization: Prophet Five. People have been down on this show since the third season but some stuck it out. The show has always manage to finish a season stronger than it starts. If you give over to it, you'll get really caught up. New cast members included Rachel Nichols as the Syd standin while Jennifer Garner gave birth to the Affleck spawn. Balthazar Getty, an almost waste of space, was a new agent looking to find out about the murder of his wife. Elodie Bouchez was a former friend of Vaughn also looking to take down P5. Amy Acker - supreme badass - had almost no character to play. She was given no background and almost no personality. And she kicked serious ass. Two words: Rocket Launcher. The show's weakest season was the fourth. The opening stand alone episodes were enjoyable, if not overly satisfying. All that returned once ABC and the producers gave up the search for more viewers and just let the show play out as it should. Bravo to JJ and the gang for five wonderful seasons. Series finale review below.
Emmy Consideration: Best Actress - Jennifer Garner; Best Supporting Actor - Ron Rifkin and Victor Garber.

Arrested Development - A
Third and final season of the much loved, ratings maligned series. The best show on television 3 years running. Sad to see it go. Hilarious guest turn by Charlize Theron and great references to Alias, The Hours, Love Actually and many others.
Emmy Consideration: Best Comedy Series, Best Writing in a Comedy Series, Best Guest Actress in a Comedy Series - Charlize

Desperate Housewives - B-
It started out okay. Then, it went downhill. Then, it pulled itself back up. Then, it had a decent ending that in hindsight brought everything back to where it began at the beginning of the season. Some look at that as a bad thing. I think it was probably for the best. Marcia and Teri's character really took a backseat this season and became very repetitive and dull. The high point for Teri was her Whitney Houston-esque hair in the flashback in the finale. Felicity is in a class by herself here. She seems to best balance the comedy and drama situation. That's perhaps where the season stumbled: too much drama with the occasional bits of black humor thrown in. Then, there was this show's kickass near saving grace: Eva. Longoria. I don't know where that came from but holy shit she was fanfuckingtastic this year. She had easily the best lines on television all year. The writers knew just what to do with her. Unlike Edie. What the fuck happened to her? She shows up for an episode, then is gone for three. She. Wasn't. Even. In. The. TWO. HOUR. Finale????
Emmy Consideration: Best Actress in a Comedy Series - Eva Longoria, Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series - Nicolette Sheridan

Gilmore Girls - B+
It began strongly enough then semi pittered out. Too much forced plot. Sad to see Amy Sherman-Paladino go. Graham and Bledel were terrific as always. Who would have thought that keeping Lorelai and Rory mad at each other for a quarter of the season would have worked so well? The show's cast and its overall charm really brought up some of the questionable plotlines (Luke's daughter? Christopher? LOGAN? Fucking Logan?) Zach and Lane's wedding was the best of the season. I love these girls so much. Here's hoping the new show runners keep next season as solid as the six so far.
Emmy Consideration: I'd love to see Amy nominated for at least one writing award to honor her six years.

Grey's Anatomy - B
Wow, did this surpass the Housewives or what? That Super Bowl episode was just plain awesome. Certainly some of the best TV of the year. But here's the problem that they seem to have realized and ever so slightly corrected: Ellen Pompeo and her character CAN NOT carry this show. It's a bit like Ally McBeal meets E.R., so many have said. Luckily, the people behind the show realized what a strong ensemble they have and brought some of the other characters to the front. Now, instead of just being about Meredith and McDreamy, it was about everyone. It finally bordered on greatness.....till the last hour of the season finale. Meredith and McDreamy decided to fuck again and there was prom in the hospital. A prom in the hospital. A fucking prom in the fuc....eh, you get the picture. The Meredith and McDreamy thing, though, was probably more frustrating. They have a terrific confrontation an episode prior that was satisfying and made it seem like it was all over. But then they fucked. In the hospital. During the prom. Yes. The prom. Nevertheless, the first hour of the finale was terrific and got everyone enough Emmy clips to last a few seasons.
Emmy Consideration: Best Supporting Actress - Drama: Sandra Oh & Chandra Wilson

The Office - A-
Smart move, NBC. They stuck with the show and now they have their second highest rated comedy series. It branched out from its original source and found its own footing gracefully. Carell played up his 40 Year Old Virgin success to great measure, and the rest of the cast is equally terrific. Jim and Pam finally hooked up!!!!! My favorite moment of the season came courtesy of Angela and her timely question of what she would bring with her if she were ever stranded on a deserted island: "I'd bring the Da Vinci Code. So I could burn it."
Emmy Consideration: Best Actor - Comedy Series: Steve Carell; Best Supporting Actor - Comedy: Rainn Wilson; Best Supporting Actress - Comedy: Jenna Fischer

Saturday Night Live - C
Apparently, Tina is gone. She has a new show on NBC. I'd say most of the cast needs to go. The season started out as if Will Forte and Amy Poehler were the MVP's. Amy was in almost every sketch. Luckily, they've pulled back a little. It started out very uneven. There were terrible episodes (Dane Cook, Steve Martin), there were shows that had a decent number of sketches (Natalie Portman, Steve Carell, Scarlett Johansson) and then there was the Julia Louis-Dreyfus episode. It was the best episode in ages. Years. It was something SNL hasn't been for a while: consistant. Wow. Every sketch was good. The season finale was the best finale they've had in a long time. And here's what they did right: they have four current cast members who are billed as featured players. Their names are Bill Hader, Andy Samberg, Kristin Wiig and Jason Sudeikis. They appeared in the majority of the sketches. I can say without question that this quartet is easily the strongest set of newcomers in ages. They can do dead-on impressions. Wiig completely nailed Drew Barrymore, Megan Mullally and Judy Garland. (Nice image in your head, huh?) Next season...well...let's wait and see. Samberg, in particular, could be the standout. He wrote most of the digital shorts - including the Natalie Portman rap video. "We love you, Natalie. I wanna fuck you, too!"

Will and Grace - C-
8th and final season of NBC's once invaluable sitcom. It limped to its finish with the show's worst season. Too much drama going on. Megan Mullally remained a force through it all. Sad. It should have ended a long time ago.

I also catch My Name Is Earl and The New Adventures of Old Christine when I can. I enjoy them both each time I watch them.
Emmy Consideration: Best Supporting Actress - Comedy: Jamie Pressly - My Name Is Earl


Will and Grace - B

The clipshow was good. It was a reminder of why I hate the conceited cast, particularly McCormick. The last episode was funny, sweet and sad. It could have ended much better. It went the way Mad About You went where they jumped into the future. There were hardly any futuristic gags, thank god. Will and Grace got into a fight and didn't speak for 2 years. They met again, and just lost touch. For about 18 years. Then, their kids - Will's HOT HOT HOT son and Grace's cute daughter - met when they moved into college. And so, Will and Grace met up again. This time for good. All went well for both of them at a personal level. Meanwhile, Jack and Karen stayed together and become their own Will and Grace. For me, the high point of the episode was when Jack and Karen sang. I've read a lot of people hated this moment. I thought they pulled it off so well. It was a nice send off. Given the unevenness of the past couple of seasons, I guess this is the most we could have expected. I found it oddly satisfying, however. Say goodnight, Gracie.

Alias - A+


This, on the other hand, was just perfect. Fuck all the people who jumped ship. (Scroll down below for a diatribe on why I think some people can't last long on some shows.) You think you've seen Jack Bristow's ultimate Jack Bristow moment? You think you've seen Sloane at his most insane? You think Amy Acker with a rocket launcher was something? You ain't seen nothin yet. It was exhilarating, twisted, the ultimate Jack Bristow moment, Jennifer Garner's most dramatic moment, Vaughn hotness, great cameos by some past favorites, globe-trotting, edge of your seat action, heart stopping suspense. When this show is at its best, it is miles better than any action movie at the multiplex. It is ridiculous, reality bending, fun. The best series finale I've seen.


Yes, fuck yes. JACK BRISTOW. Oh my god. His ultimate moment. His last moment. They killed off four characters. I loved the final battles: Syd Vs. Irina. Jack vs. Sloane. Vaughn Vs. Sark. I'm glad they let Sark live but they should have let the snake fucking kill Kelly. And oh my god. Amy Acker with machine guns>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.Amy Acker with a rocket launcher. She fucking DESTROYED Prophet Five. OMG. She was afraid of snakes. I loved that twist. Irina was behind it all. Big surprise. Not really. Flinkman was perfect? Balthazar finally served a purpose. Wow, I really wanted him and Rachel to get together. Nadia basically telling Sloane to fuck off and spend eternity alone trapped under the world. Ah yes. It was great. FRANCIE! Not evil Francie. But good Francie! So great. And Garner held it all together. How great was it they began this in Sydney. Hahahah. I love it. Carrie Bowman was back!!!! Oh my god. It was all perfect. The most satisfying, perfect ending to this show I love so much. The ending scene was overall predictable. Syd's daughter just hitting the puzzle though was a nice touch.


Which brings me to this: People seem to only be able to last 2 seasons on a show. Does the quality die after that? Does it somehow lose its luster? Or could it be this: The show's quality remains the same. But new stuff comes on. New stuff you must watch. Because you are trendy. So then, when you see something you've enjoyed previously, it doesn't seem the same. Nothing has really changed about it, it's just there's more new and exciting things. Why does this seem to always happen with people bitching about shows losing their quality and "jumping ship"? And why does it always seem to be the same people bitching about the shows? Shows have to spice things up, bring in new people, try out new storylines to endure. It can't be the same repetitive crap over and over again. Hmm....Like CSI? Maybe now I know why that show is so popular. CSI will remain popular, as will American Idol. But I'm sure next season Veronica Mars and Lost will suck.

Any takers?

Did I lose my point?

Is anyone really listening?

I'm so Meredith Grey right now.


Excuse me, McDreamy is waiting for me after the hospital prom.

A prom.

In the hospital.

Maybe I should be Amy Acker with a rocket launcher/DNA-changer/set of machine guns/snake.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

"Alias is a show about a spy!"

...so said Buster on Arrested Development. A third much enjoyed series of mine bites the dust Monday night at 9. An explosive 2 hour finale ensues.

Main Cast:

Sydney Bristow - Jennifer Garner
Arvin Sloane - Ron Rifkin
Michael Vaughn / Andre Micheaux - Michael Vartan
Jack Bristow - Victor Garber
Marcus Dixon - Carl Lumbly
Marshall Flinkman - Kevin Weisman

Additional Cast:
Will Tippin - Bradley Cooper
Francie Calfo / Allison Doren - Merrin Dungey
Eric Weiss - Greg Grunberg
Irina Derevko / Laura Bristow - Lena Olin
Julian Sark - David Anders
Laureen Reed - Melissa George
Nadia Santos - Mia Maestro
Rachel Gibson - Rachel Nichols
Thomas Grace - Balthazar Getty
Renee Rienne - Elodie Bouchez
Kelly Peyton - Amy Acker

Recurring Characters:
Anna Espinosa - Gina Torres
Gordon Dean - Tyrees Allen
Hayden Chase - Angela Bassett
Elena Derevko / Sophia Vargas - Sonia Braga
Katya Derevko - Isabella Rossellini
Emily Sloane - Amy Irving
Other Mr. Sloane / Ned Bolger - Joel Grey
Toni Cummings - Vivica A. Fox
Dr. Judy Barnett - Patricia Wettig
Conrad - David Carridine
Olivia Reed - Peggy Lipton
Kazari Bomani - Djimon Hounsou
McKenas Cole - Quentin Tarantino
Director Kendall - Terry O'Quinn
Robert Lindsey - Kurt Fuller
Lazarey - Mark Bramhall
Dr. Brezzel - David Cronenberg
Brill - Richard Roundtree
Javier Perez - Clifton Collins Jr.
Simon Walker - Justin Theroux
Carrie Bowman - Amanda Foreman
Neil Caplan - Christian Slater
Ariana Kane - Faye Dunaway
Agent Blake - Kevin Sutherland
Arthur Devlin - James Handy
Noah Hicks - Peter Berg
Alexander Khasinau - Derrick O'Connor
Steven Haladki - Joey Slotnick
Kelly McNeil - Anges Bruckner
Danny Hecht - Edward Atteron

It would be virtually impossible to create a "10 Favorite" list for this show. It plays as one big movie. I can name great twists, cool double crosses, sexy outfits, badass badies, and awesome Sydney hairstyles. Those are just individual moments.

Things I'd Like to See During the Finale:
+Syd kills Sloane. Top priority. What exactly will happen to Irina I really don't know. She shouldn't die. She's not really up to something bad. But she is?

+Syd/Vaughn sex. Yes. Hot. Long. Sweaty.

+Resolution to the Prophet Five storyline. I'm still not exactly sure what the deal with this is.

+Amy Acker with a rocket launcher. And a DNA changer. In one. Will Kelly Peyton realize what an evil organization she works for and convert to goodness and her and Rachel can fight crime together. It seems Syd will retire.

+Tom dies. Ugh. I don't like him. Balthazar is really bad here.

+Melissa George cameo.

+At least 5 costume changes.

+Flinkman proposes to Jack again. My fave Marshall moment.

+Rachel kills a man with her bare breasts.

+At least one major "JACK BRISTOW" moment. He really did the ultimate JACK BRISTOW! moment a few weeks back when he shot the guy in charge of the boat Syd was stranded on at the meeting.

+Isn't evil Francie supposed to return? Yeah, I'd like to see that.

+Sark goes good. Has sex with Will Tippin. Finds an alternate use for Amy Acker's rocket launcher. Vaughn joins in.

+Dixon finally nails Angela Bassett.

+At least one "good" character is revealed to be bad and vice versa.

Oh, how I'll miss my girrrl power/espionage/twisty-turny/government conspiracy/serial fantasy show.

Be back Tuesday with season/series wrap ups.

(New excerpt from Webster's Dictionary)


Tuesday, May 16, 2006

1. The Da Vinci Code - $76m / $76m / $250m
2. Over the Hedge - $42m / $42m / $170m
3. Mission Impossible 3 - $13m / $105m / $135m
4. Poseidon - $10m / $37.5m / $52m
5. RV - $6.5m / $52m / $64m
6. See No Evil - $5m / $5m / $12m
7. Just My Luck - $3m / $10m / $15m
8. United 93 - $2m / $29m / $34m
9. An American Haunting - $2m / $14m / $17m
10. Stick It - $1.8m / $24.5m / $28m

amelie and forrest are going to go jason bourne on your ass

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Darren's 10 Favorite 'Will and Grace' Episodes!

I'll do an Alias tribute later this week, then the following week a complete review of all the shows I watch during the year. Yip yip.

Will and Grace's final episode airs Thursday May 18th. A once fresh and funny TV show has made a turn for the worse in the past 2 years. Season 4 was easily its strongest year. The show has won 14 Emmys, including ones for the series and all four of its principle players. I'll focus on the best of this groundbreaking and hilarious show. Some people really detest this show and I concur that its style is not for everyone. The over-the-top characters and possibly too-gay humor are a putoff to some. But, when you try to make something for everyone, you end up pleasing no one - to steal a line from Karen Walker. What's interesting about this show is that I actually can't stand any of the 4 main actors. They are cliched theatre actors who talk and drone endlessly on about their "craft." To quote Grace, they are pretentious boobs. But I love their on-screen characters. Karen is probably my favorite. I quote her at least once a week. I'll wager that Mullally is probably the most talented of the foursome and the most likely to go on and do something worthwhile after this. I think I'm more like Grace though. We are both self-centered in a way that we think is cute but is more cloying. And we know food. Anywho, I'm hoping for a half decent finale in which every character gets a happy ending. And a positive sendoff. Tehehehe.

Below are my ten favorite episodes:

(Thanks to IMDB and TV.com for the info! For an extensive list of Will and Grace quotes, go here.)

Will Truman: Eric McCormick
Grace Adler: Debra Messing
Jack McFarland: Sean Hayes
Karen Walker: Megan Mullally

Recurring Characters:
Rosario: Shelley Morrison
Leo: Harry Connick Jr
Rob: Tom Gallop
Ellen: Leigh-Allyn Baker
Joe: Jerry Levine
Larry: Tim Bagley
Elliot: Michael Angarano
Tina: Leslie Ann Warren
Bobbi: Debbie Reynolds
Marilyn: Blythe Danner
George: Syndey Pollack
Lorraine Finster: Minnie Driver
Lyle Finster: John Cleese
Nurse Sheila: Laura Kightlinger
Vince: Bobby Cannavale
Zandra: Eileen Brennan (probably my fave recurring character!)
Nathan: Woody Harrelson
Beverly Leslie: Leslie Jordan
Ben Doucette: Gregory Hines
Mr. Zamir: Marshall Manesh
Val Bassett: Molly Shannon
Dorleen: Parker Posey
and Cher as herself.

Airdate: March 28, 2000
Synopsis: While on a blind date, Will finds out that Karen's husband Stan has had a heart attack and rushes to the hospital to be with the gang. Will, Jack, Grace, and Rosario all speculate on who Karen will turn to for her inevitable emotional breakdown. After all, who will pay the bills if Stan dies?

Why is it so great? This was actually one of the first episodes of the show I saw. Jennifer Elise Cox (Jan from The Brady Bunch movies) appears as a very young nurse who frightens the needle-weary Grace.

Karen: It's Stan. He needs blood for a bypass. And... he needs it drawn slowly by a large pointy needle.
Grace: Um... Um, I - I - I - I doubt that - that I would even match. I've got - I've got a very rare blood type.
Karen: I'm sure it'll be fine.
Grace: What type do they need?
Karen: What type do you have?
Grace: What type do they need?
Karen: What type do you have?
Grace: Um, AB-negative.
Karen: That's the type they need.

Will: No, we're not being gross. Besides, it's either this or 15 hours of reading Highlights magazine. I mean, really, how many times can you find a toaster in a tree?

Grace: Whoa, whoa, her? Isn't there someone who's a little more... experienced? Someone who didn't drive in on a Big Wheel?
Nurse Trainee Pittman: Oh, I don't drive. I keep taking the test over and over, but I'm all, "This is hard."

Airdate: November 25, 2004
Synopsis: When Vince's mother injures her leg and is unable to make her traditional Italian Thanksgiving, Will comes to the rescue by offering to make his own special dinner, but Vince's mother refuses to give Will any credit. Meanwhile, Jack gives Vince's sister Ro a few pointers on a big secret she is keeping from her family and fiance. Meanwhile, Grace and Karen get very cosy with Vince's much younger brother. (This is an hourlong episode.)
Guest star: Jamie Lynn Sigler

Why is it so great? Just try not to laugh while Hayes attempts to sit on Vince's families plastic covered furniture. Easily the best episode of the past two seasons, too and the best Holiday-episode of the series.

Ro: He went to camp with Renee Zellweger. But that's not the only reason I'm marrying him.
Ro: He went to camp with Renee Zellweger. It's the only reason I'm marrying him.

Jack: Hello Ro. He-Ro! I'm Jack, Will's friend. Not like Will and your brother are "friends." Okay. And one day they'll eventually be "roommates." And then the proud parents of a Chinese girl.

Airdate: October 11, 2001
Synopsis: Jack is puffed up with paternal pride as he escorts his long-lost teenaged son Elliot to a junior high school dance but not before he coerces Grace into posing as Elliot's date – which only revives her own tortured memories of rejection from school dances many years before. Elsewhere, Karen has great fun at her lawyer Will's expense when she continues to capriciously summon him for bogus "emergencies" – that is, until she really needs him.

Why is it so great? This ep boasts the great chemistry of the infrequently coupled Karen and Will. Mostly at each other's throats - and no exception here - the two work very well together.

(Elliot is talking to his potential girlfriend at the school dance, after Jack has upstaged the event by dancing to N'Sync.)
Elliot: That's my dad. He's gay.
Nancy: One of my moms is gay. She can't dance. She built our house.

Grace (at the dance to two outcast girls she is telling the evils of men): Am I the flatest one here?

Karen (on phone with Will): Will? It’s me. There are two men from the FBI here. Well one man and a man-ish woman!

Will: What happened? Did your cable go out? Did you lose the stick you use to poke bears with at the zoo?
Karen: No, honey. It’s right here!

Airdate: January 11, 2001
Synopsis: Will and Grace get carried away in an escrow undertow when they pose as a wealthy couple shopping for homes of the rich-and-famous and visit Sandra Bernhard's posh townhouse where they become fast friends and make an fake offer -- but their ploy fizzles when she accepts their offer. Elsewhere, Karen is forced to attend her young stepson's swim meet and is uncharacteristically chastised by another mother for arriving late.
Guest star: Sandra Bernhard

Why is it so great? Four words: Midnight. Train. To. Georgia. Messing's finest moment and one of the few moments in any comedy that can make me laugh hard every time.

Karen: Good Lord. I can't believe I'm at a public pool. Why doesn't somebody just pee directly on me?

Cheryl: Mrs. Walker? Cheryl Bricker-Fossberg, Taylor and Hayden's mom.
Karen: I have no idea what you just said.

Sandra: Hi kids!

Karen: Hey poodle, love your scooter.
Jack: Thanks. Love your hooters.

Airdate: October 26, 2000
Synopsis: Grace's delight in having a bright intern whom she can mentor turns into horror when the young woman re-makes herself into the spitting image of sassy, brassy Karen -- and that's at least one too many Karens to handle. Meanwhile, Will and Jack volunteer to act out scenes for a gay sensitivity seminar for the local police but the peaceful intent is lost when they tussle with two lesbian cast members who strongly object to their non-inclusive, sexist language.
Guest star: Natasha Lyonne

Why is it so great? Karen has always bashed Grace, but this is the ultimate Karen-bashes-Grace episode. Lyonne is priceless as Karen Jr.

Karen: [to Gillian the intern] Hi, honey. Sit down!
Gillian: What's going on, what's happening, what's this all about?
Karen: I've got something tough to tell you. Uh, I'm fabulous, okay? I'm an incredible dresser, I've got buckets of money, I'm a hoot and a half, and I've got a killer rack. Do you get what I'm saying?
Gillian: Not really.
Karen: Honey, you're not me, and you never will be.
Gillian: [pointing to her chest] Is it the rack?
Karen: [laughing and shaking her head] "It's a big part of it. Now, you're never going to be me, but, you got a good chance to be Grace, and that's nothing to sneeze at, honey, you shouldn't throw it away so quickly."
Gillian: But Grace, she's just not us.
Karen: Bup-bupbupbupbupbup, watch your mouth, or I'll wash it out with cheap vodka. That's my little girl you're talking about. Now, Grace is a damn good role model. She's bright, she's successful, she's the worst dresser in the whole wide world, she's talented and I look up to her. Honey, why else would I be here?
Gillian: You told me it's because you hate being home with Stan and the kids.
Karen: [laughing and shaking her head] It's a big part of it.
Gillian: Hey, can I still use the word "honey"?
Karen: What? Ohhhhhhhh no.

Gillian: [talking about Karen] She sends me to the coolest places, right? I mean, like yesterday. She sent me to Tiffany's and Barney's. She even sent me to the dog groomer to get the gray out of her poodle. Well... they couldn't because, well, it's a gray poodle.

Karen: OK, rule number one. Unless you're served in a frosted glass, never come within four feet of my lips.

Gillian: Grace, honey, that color doesn't even look good on an orange.

Airdate: May 2, 2000
Synopsis: Despite their history, Grace spends a fun evening with Val only to have Will suspect her of stealing. Meanwhile Jack becomes attracted to the leader of Welcome Home-an organization for gays who have converted to going straight, so he acts straight to woo the man.
Guest star: Molly Shannon, Neil Patrick Harris

Why is it so great? While the whole ex-gay movement has reared its ugly head more in recent years, this clever take on it - they are actually there as a hookup service - really soars. There's a great dig at Kevin Spacey and Jodie Foster to boot. Molly Shannon can crack me up doing anything. Watch how she subtely gets a laugh just switching cups on Will and Grace when they go to her apartment. Her "IT'S MINE!" bit is the episode's high point, though. Fun fact: Focus on the Family objected to this episode as it mocks the struggles of ex-gays. HAHAHAHAHAH!

Karen: They're trying to make gay people straight! Good Lord! Don't they know what that'll do to the fall line?

Karen: And it looks like your new sweetie has turned his back on homosexuals. And not in the good way.

Val: I hope you like Sunny D!
Grace: I Sunny Doo!

Karen: It's a cult, like the Moonies, or the homeless.

4. "23"
Airdate: May 8, 2003
Synopsis: In the middle of her divorce proceedings, Karen learns that ex-husband Stan has suddenly passed away, and the funeral becomes a contest of wills between Karen and her British rival, and a free-for-all when the will is read for everyone who ever felt deserving, such as Will. Meanwhile, Grace is shocked when recently returned husband Leo is called back into service by Doctors Without Borders and asks her to make the trip with him to Guatemala.
Guest star: Minnie Driver

Why is it so great? Driver is really funny. There's a nifty reference to Gilmore Girls and the hilarious yet never seen Stan gets a great send off.

Karen: Nice outfit for a funeral. If that outfit were any shorter I could see your English muffin.
Lorraine Finster: I wouldn't talk. If that dress were any lower I could see your Yankee doodles.

Will: Stanley Walker was a great man.
Grace: A nice man.
Jack: A FAT man.
Will: He was a decent man.
Grace: A kind man.
Jack: A surprisingly good dancer.

Karen (to Lorraine): I'd like you to eat me.

Lorraine: You're a fancy dresser. Are you English?
Will: Oh no, I'm gay.
Lorraine: Well, its the same thing.
Will: If that weren't true, I'd find that offensive.

Airdate: February 28, 2002
Synopsis: Will and Grace feel they need more elbow room, so they search for larger digs and find an exquisite place—despite the efforts of Sandra Bernhard—but to finance the move, they illegally sub-let their old apartment. Meanwhile, a well-intentioned Jack begins filming a documentary of Karen's colorful life to celebrate her birthday but accidentally stumbles upon her estranged, lowlife mom.
Guest star: Sandra Bernhard, Suzanne Pleshette

Why is it so great? So many great lines. The way W&G react to the friendly kid in the one building the visit is priceless and probably the closest the characters have ever resembled myself.

Jack (filming at W&G's): We're here at the apartment sex forgot.

Grace: Karen paid me $20 a day for a month not to wear ruffles or eat ruffles.

Jack: I'll have a Scotch on the rocks, half crushed ice, half cubed.
Lois: A beer.
Jack: Excuse me, rudeness! I would like the drink I ordered, and maybe even a 'Hi my name is phbbt, I'll be your server this evening.'
Lois: Listen, Maria. I've been on this shift since, what time is it now? 1947. My feet hurt, my back aches, and the only thing holding my boobs up is hope. Now you're going to enjoy the drink you get.
Jack: . . . Beer will be fine.

Jack: Karen, I got you what I believe, pants-down, is the best birthday gift ever!
Karen: Oh, honey, is it my new liver?

Sandra: What are you two "Kate and Leopold"-looking mother f****rs doing here?

Airdate: February 7, 2002
Synopsis: Matt Damon makes a guest appearance as a clever charmer named Owen, who's competing against Jack for a spot in New York's Gay Men's Chorus. Truth be told, however, Owen is totally straight and is really after the group's big perk: a summer trip to Europe, all-expenses paid. Jack suspects Owen's ruse but needs proof. How about the hug test? Now a flustered Jack reluctantly turns to Grace to "in" Owen. Meanwhile, a scheming Karen tries to pass off an unwitting Will as her lover and not her lawyer when she discovers that she's the object of pity for being single at her own Valentine's Day party.
Guest star: Matt Damon

Why is it so great? Yes, this show has become an endless parade of guest stars. I will argue that Damon is easily the series' strongest one-ep appearance.

Karen (to the pint sized Beverly Leslie): Shouldn't you be in a tree making cookies?

Jack (upon learning Owen is straight): Anne Heche Laffoon! He's straight.

(Just for Angie)
Owen: Whoops, my hand seems to be traveling up your thigh towards your ROCKIN' ASS. But who cares right? Cause I'm gay. So it's all right if I tell you you're beautiful, throw you down on this couch and make out with you fiercely, right?
Grace: Yup, because you're gay, I should be on top.
[Start making out]
Grace: Ya know, you're a good kisser for a gay guy, and I've kissed a lot gay guys.
[enter Jack with camera]
Jack: Got you, you sick straight bastard.
Grace: Jack get lost, I'm not done.

Jack: Wishin' and a-Hopin'...
Owen: Dreamin' and a-Prayin'...
Jack: Lyin' and a-Cheatin'.
Owen: Fatty and a-Tone Deaf.
Jack: - STOP IT.

Jack: Uh, excuse me. As Aretha said to Gloria, Celine, Shania, and Mariah during Divas Live...
[in an Aretha voice]
Jack: "Are you trippin'? No one interrupts the Queen of Soul, bitch. OK?"
Owen: Well, I believe she also said, "Hey, Cuba, Canada, Cowgirl, Crazy, get out of my light and away from my snacks, bitch."

Airdate: October 2, 2003
Synopsis: When Leo invites his hip and trendy ex-girlfriend to a friendly dinner party, Grace turns to Will, Jack and Karen to round out the guest list and keep the night running smoothly. However, when Leo's ex turns out to be the only girl Will ever slept with, Grace's jealousy gets the better of her. Meanwhile, Karen discovers Lorraine's dog Chompers hiding in Stan's closet and searches for a new owner for the puppy.
Guest star: Mira Sorvino

Why is it so great? All four cast members are at their comedic high. Even the typically passable Connick is solid. However, the fact that just about every line in this episode is instantly quoteable, that it is a classic sitcom episode setup, and that Sorvino is perfectly cast make this the best episode. Of a sitcom. Period.

Diane: (comparing Leo and Will's performances in bed) Will was better.
Will: Yes!
Leo: What do you mean "Will was better"? He couldn't find a G-spot with Yahoo! Maps.
Jack and Karen: Yahoo-oo!

(Karen and Jack enter the cafe where they approach two men drinking coffee)
Karen: Hi, Will! Hi, Grace!
Jack: Grace, I like your new crew cut.
(Seconds later, Karen and Jack spot Will and Grace and go to the table)
Karen: Hi, Will! Hi, Grace!
Jack: Grace, I like your new crew cut.

Diane: You spun me right round, baby. Right round, like a record player. Right round, round, round.

Will: [telling Grace how she's lucky she didn't have sex with him] Yeah, a ride on the Truman train could have ruined you for life.
Leo: Train? Train? You had one passenger.
Will: Yeah, but at least she got off.

Leo: Silly me. I thought two bottles of wine per person would be enough.
Karen: Maybe if we were in high school.

Jack: Leo, she doesn't have ca-bobs. She has a ca-gina.
Karen: And nice ca-tits.

Will (to Diane): How did you know I was gay?
Karen: Probably because you put the condom on with your pinkies up, Mary.

And here it is....

the Quote that pretty much defines this show for me:

"I like you. Wanna make out?"

Since Hathaway is Austen, Michelle Williams must be....

Charlotte Bronte!!!

Oscar-nominated actress Michelle Williams (Brokeback Mountain) is set to play the title character in Angela Workman's Bronte, reports Production Weekly.

The big screen biopic is based on the life of Charlotte Bronte, author of classic novel "Jane Eyre."

The cast also includes Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Imelda Staunton, Brian Cox and Ben Chaplin.

Workman also wrote the script for the film, which starts production later this year.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Box Office Predictions: May 12 - 14

1. Poseidon - $38m / $38m / $98m
2. Mission Impossible 3 - $24m / $86m / $140m
3. Just My Luck - $12m / $12m / $35m
4. RV - $7.5m / $40.5m / $55m
5. United 93 - $3.5m / $25.5m / $34m
6. Stick It - $3m / $22m / $27m
7. An American Haunting - $2.5m / $10m / $14m
8. Ice Age 2 - $2m / $186m / $190m
9. Silent Hill - $2m / $44m / $47m
10. Goal - $2m / $2m / $5m

josh lucas can't get wet fast enough!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Summer 2006 Box Office Predictions: THE PIRATES ARE COMING!!!

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - Cars - The Da Vinci Code - Mission: Impossible 3

Poseidon - Miami Vice

Looking Questionable Right Now:
Superman Returns - X-Men 3 - Over the Hedge - World Trade Center

My Super Ex-Girlfriend - Little Miss Sunshine - The Devil Wears Prada

The Oscar Contender:
A Prairie Home Companion

Desperately in Need of a Sequel:
Snakes on a Plane

Predicted Top 25:

1. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - $325m
2. Cars - $250m
3. Superman Returns - $240m
4. The Da Vinci Code - $225m
5. Mission Impossible 3 - $200m
6. X-Men 3: The Last Stand - $180m
7. Over the Hedge - $155m
8. Click - $130m
9. Monster House - $125m
10. The Break Up - $105m
11. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby - $100m
12. Poseidon - $95m
13. You, Me and Dupree - $86m
14. Miami Vice - $80m
15. Nacho Libre - $74m
16. Lady in the Water - $72m
17. Snakes on a Plane - $70m
18. Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift - $65m
19. My Super Ex-Girlfriend - $64m
20. The Devil Wears Prada - $62m
21. Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties - $60m
22. World Trade Center - $58m
23. The Omen - $56m
24. Zoom - $54m
25. The Lake House - $52m


1. Mission: Impossible 3 - $65m / $65m / $200m
2. R.V. - $10.5m / $30.5m / $54m
3. United 93 - $8.5m / $24m / $50m
4. Hoot - $8m / $8m / $24m
5. Stick It - $6m / $18.5m / $30m
6. An American Haunting - $5m / $5m / $13m
7. Akeelah and the Bee - $4.5m / $12m / $25m
8. Silent Hill - $4m / $41m / $48m
9. The Sentinel - $4m / $32m / $40m
10. Ice Age 2 - $4m / $183m / $190m